Mirror, Mirror

I am incredibly and insufferably vain.

I don't look vain, I know.  I barely brush my hair (I don't own a comb), I don't wear makeup apart from lip balm and my fashion sense is somewhere between Vietnamese refugee and hygienic hobo.  

But I am vain.  Completely and shamelessly so.

Whereas other girls try to look presentable from head to toe, I focus on nothing but skin care.

I have no time for hair care products, I buy clothes without fitting them and perfume salesmen can suck it.

All I care about is my skin.

I suppose I'm compensating.  Puberty was a major bitch.  Although I never did get hordes of pimples all over my face, I was never the girl who had clear, glowing skin.  If I remember correctly, I looked sallow and there was always at least one GIGANTIC pimple squatting illegally somewhere on my face.  

I hated it.

I suppose my obsessive-compulsive behavior extends to my desire to have a clear and unblemished face. A reddish dot appears and I jump on it, attacking it with a gazillion creams and potions.  I can't stop looking for blemishes on my face: pimples, would-be pimples, fine lines, discoloration -- I am constantly and vigilantly waiting for the next battle to fight.

It never ends.

Which is why the Dove "don't look in the mirror" challenge I read about on PDI today intrigues me.  I've come to realize that my obsession with having perfect skin is getting in the way of me having perfect skin.  I find a teensy blackhead and squeeze it to death, leading to a rather ugly scar on the tip of my nose (true story).  I pile products on like there's no tomorrow, hoping that each one will be the miracle "perfect skin" potion to end all my skin care woes.

I'm making things worse, is what I'm saying.

So I'm taking the challenge, out of my own volition and not as part of that Dove marketing thing.  I hate using Dove on my body -- God knows I'll never use it on my face.  But the idea of not obsessing over my face in the mirror?

It sounds strangely liberating.

So I'll go on with my cleanse-tone-moisturize routine, plus sunblock in the morning, but I won't stop to really look at myself in the mirror.  No more long hours of agonizing over my giant pores.  No more drama over the latest blemish to appear on my face.  

I can do this!

Let's try five days.